Stop Shrinking Yourself

How to break the rules that are holding you back in your career.

“Your playing small does not serve the world.” — Marianne Williamson

For years I climbed the corporate ladder playing by the rules. I waited my turn to speak so I didn’t talk over my superiors. I held back ideas so I didn’t disrupt the hierarchy.

And it served me fine but I was operating at maybe 50% of my capability.

All to keep others comfortable and to follow rules that were never actually real.

Many high performers do this. They focus so much on “the rules” that they forget the value they actually bring to the table.

Your performance has nothing to do with anyone else. It’s about how you show up and that’s what determines your trajectory.

The corporate rules that were never real:

I can’t speak up in a meeting because my boss is there → if you have an idea, share it

I want more opportunities but it’ll never happen → ask anyway

I have to wait years before I can lead → start taking initiative or create your own opportunities

I can’t network with other teams or my boss will think I’m leaving → you’re holding yourself back based on an assumption, not reality

I shouldn’t introduce myself to the new department head, I don’t want to bother them → waiting to be noticed is why people stay where they are

If you follow these rules, they’ll take you exactly where they take most people.

And if you don’t want that outcome, you have to stop following them.

Stop waiting to lead meetings. Stop waiting to speak in a meeting until called on. Stop waiting for the role before acting like a leader. Stop waiting for opportunities to come to you.

Leaders don’t shrink or wait for permission. They drive the conversation, the opportunity, and their next move.

You don’t have to wait your turn but you do have to speak up, ask, and take the lead.

So what would it look like to take up more space in your career?

What would change? Is there already a shift coming to mind?

Here’s how to start:

1. Identify a meeting, project, or area where you’re holding back

2. What “rule” might you be following that’s limiting you?

3. Is it actually real?

4. Look at your calendar this week and choose one opportunity to break it.

Stop shrinking and start expanding into your full capability.

If you’re seeking a promotion or success in a new role, my private coaching focuses on making shifts like this with structure, direct feedback, and accountability to help you get there.

Schedule a consultation ​here.

Have a great week,

Kirsten